What Is Love?

Medieval representations of romantic love owed much to the thinking of the eleventh-century philosopher Andreas Capellanus, who drew a distinction between amor, affectio, and eros.¹ The first applied to the more spiritual level, the second as appropriate for affection between spouses, and the third the dangerous desire that can become uncontrollable. The medical writings of Constantine Africanus list symptoms and cures for lovesickness as a disease, and these theories continued to appear in medieval medical treatises in the following centuries.² The ivory hair parting tool alludes to the improper level of desire that might reverse social order. However, by giving the gift of the amor brooch during courtship, a suitor might attempt to impress his potential bride with a token that refers to love in its the highest spiritual dimensions.

Literary representations such as the Arthurian legends and Tristan and Isolde reinforced the notion that passionate love could overpower good sense and familial responsibility. Also, in the Late Middle Ages, the sensational history of the love affair between Peter Abelard and Héloïse d’Argenteuil remained familiar enough to merit mention in Le Roman de la Rose and in The Canterbury Tales. Sometimes, though, a literary love match turns out badly, as in the story of Gillion de Trazegnies.

No shortage of well-documented cases survive in which the couple got married, at times agains the wishes of their parents, for reasons of love.³ For example, the late thirteenth-century records of the town of Bigstock mention a peasant child named Truelove.⁴ In the case elites, love matches at times caused great trouble. Roger Virgoe has argued that Edward IV’s love match with Elizabeth Woodville ‘added a new set of rivalries to an already faction-ridden central government.’⁵ When, a decade before inheriting the throne, Joan I of Aragon married Violant de Bar, it caused an irrecoverable estrangement with his father the king. His father had favored a more politically useful marriage to a Sicilian princess.⁶ Perhaps the object that best represents the importance of love in a marriage is the silver fede ring with the large heart grasped by the two hands of each spouse.

Despite all of the love stories in medieval literature, the mainstream view held that love mostly came after marriage. Plenty of representations encouraged people to see marriage as a social responsibility. The paintings of St. Barbara, St. Catherine, and the marriage of the Virgin all promoted the view that pious love remained a higher virtue and marriages made based on duty deserved the greatest honor.